i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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