Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
