God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
