matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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