I should be sponsored by Trojan
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
