She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize