Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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