Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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