K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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