It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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