Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i dont even know how to be here
My vagina just recognized that song.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize