Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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