My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Randomize
