Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
