Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
