Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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