And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
