he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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