She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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