I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
