We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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