It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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