I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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