A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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