there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
