I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
