the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My friends, they love my intelligence
You smell like a Billy Joel song
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
