I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Randomize
