Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
