i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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