Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
