I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
