The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
