Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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