So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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