isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
