I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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