I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
