I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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