Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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