In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
