This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize