she was so not down for the gang bang
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
