she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
