So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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