Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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