i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
