i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
