you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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