I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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