First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize