can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
