I accidentally had phone sex last night
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
