Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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