Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
