oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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