did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
