Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
