Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
