I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
