butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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