even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
