I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
