who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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