Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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