guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
