ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
