terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
