I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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