We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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