with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
