I can tuck mytits in my pants
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
