So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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